You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think a kid would responsible me up
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize