I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize