No period for spring break; use this wisely.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
