plz talk dirty to me
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
