Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
