I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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