I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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