the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
