I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My first STD was from a foam party
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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