My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
