Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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