i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
