I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
