Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
