Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
