It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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