Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
