yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You are a booty call, not a friend.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
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