hotel room ftw
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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