I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
