I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
