he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
