When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
