Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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