i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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