When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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