belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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