hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
