Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
