Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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