I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
