She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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