Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
