Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Who wears a wallet chain?!
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
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