Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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