Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
