and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
