I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
