My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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