i think my tv is drunk
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
