i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
