Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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