I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
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