hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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