You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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