so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
