? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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