Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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