Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
