Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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