Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
