i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize