I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
