So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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