Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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