Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
