SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Houston, we have a squirter
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
