i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
