My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
